Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Pants are for mortals
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
