Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
