I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
