They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
