hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
