But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
