I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize