So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
please come you make the beer taste better
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
