He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
im holly from the hills drunk
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
