I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize