thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
