I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
