Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
