Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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