first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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