I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Randomize