Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
