Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
