All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
this will be a night to untag.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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