Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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