i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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