I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
