Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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