i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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