i love accidental penises.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize