The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
