did you get engaged???
You just made me feel so damn special
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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