I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Pooping to opera.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
