Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
There's even glitter on my cock...
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