Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
And my parents said I crawled through the house
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
