Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
my being single is dangerous.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
