She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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