What tipped you off? The sombrero?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
