Swine flu. Run for my life!
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
