were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize