Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
