nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
