He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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