But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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