You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I touched a dick in church today
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
