So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
