Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
My vagina is very pro this idea
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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