come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
