Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize