Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Enjoy the penises
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize