I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
honey bunches of taint.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I think your dad took our porno
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
