do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
