part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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