Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
