i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
