I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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