i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
