Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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