Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
