Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
