I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize