Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
