Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
