Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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