They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
