I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
be right there i have to get my cape
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
