The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
