I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
