the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
