Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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