I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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