dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
