I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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