I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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