i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
