shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
