Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
