Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
